“He’s too strong!” “He doesn’t give me enough pressure!” “His arms are limp!” “He’s yanking me around!” “Well if he would guide me, I would be HAPPY to follow!”  We’ve heard it all over the years from our followers who are ever so patiently (yeah, right) waiting for the “perfect” leader to sweep her off of her feet. While those leaders do exist as a rarity, it is a “work in progress” for the average man who doesn’t dance 8-10 hours a day. So, girls, what do we do when he looks like prince charming, but dances like Kermit the frog? Let me give you a few of my favorite tips.

1. Encourage him to learn to dance with dancing lessons. Remember how long it finally took to get him to pull over and ask for directions? Multiply that by 1000 when it comes to asking for help on the dance floor! He would rather do ANYTHING over admitting that he can’t dance and that he needs help feeling cool. Dance lessons will empower him to KNOW what he is doing. For guys, that is a huge step in the right direction. Helpful tips and guidance from a professional ballroom dancing instructor is just what guys need to get their courage on. Until then, most men just feel awkward. With each dance lesson, though, his confidence will rise. In the meantime, you and your man will also get to spend some quality time out of the movie theater or off the bar stools and instead learning a new, romantic hobby that brings you closer together. It seems like an impossible thought that he would actually enjoy dancing one day, but it will happen as he starts to understand how this thing called “dancing” works.

2. Be supportive through the learning process. It takes men a bit of time to start getting their feet wet on the dance floor. Refrain from pointing and laughing even if he looks “cute” as he is learning. Believe it or not, this happens all too often and our leaders tend to feel embarrassed more often than adorable. Remember also to not help him by back-leading for him. Time, practice and the right kind of instruction is what guys need to thrive.

3. Be patient. Learning to lead is a lot of responsibility! Your good time rests in his hands and he knows it! He so desperately wants to please you and “be the man” but the body is still catching up with the brain. This is the BEST bit of advice that I can give to any couple. Ladies, acknowledge that he is working hard for you (and he is) and his confidence will soar. Soon enough, he will willingly dust off his dancing shoes for you on any occasion.