Going out social dancing at your local Country bar or Latin club can be quite intimidating. Never mind the amazing dancers having a blast out on the floor, looking like they’ve been dancing all their lives. You also get to contend with loud music, tons of people in a small, crowded space, dims lights and flowing alcohol. It’s easy to become overwhelmed very quickly, so let me help you ease your fears when it comes to choosing a dance partner with a step-by-step guide to dancing with someone new.

How many times have you joined friends out at a Country bar, a wedding, or a Latin dance club only to spend the entire night babysitting the purses at the table while your buddies are out Two Stepping or Salsa dancing? You want to join in the fun, but it’s scary out there and you don’t have a partner.  If you’ve felt this way before, it sucks! Let’s change things so your nights out can be filled with excitement, meeting new people and fun. Sound good? Great! Let’s start with Step 1….

1. Be prepared.

The best way to get ready to dance with someone new is to become a good dancer yourself. Who doesn’t want to dance with someone who can lead, or who follows like a dream? Most people gravitate towards the better dancers, subconsciously or not, so if you can become one of those people yourself, you’ll be ahead of the game.

“Learn to dance” sounds like a “Duh!” piece of advice, but what most people don’t discover until after they’ve gone out dancing without success over and over, is that it actually takes time to learn to dance well. Those couples who look awesome on the dance floor have put in hours and hours mastering their skill, believe me.

As I mentioned in a previous blog, know that no one is born knowing how to dance. There’s also not a pill (yet) that you can take to learn to dance overnight. In other words, there are no shortcuts. But, like most really cool things out there that you can discover, your time and financial investment towards learning to dance will be so worth it. Before you know it, you will be walking taller, feeling slimmer, and moving through life with more confidence than ever before.

So to get the ball rolling, sign yourself up for a beginner’s dance lesson to take your first step (pun intended) towards being a great Country, Latin or Swing dancer. And let’s not leave out the ever-so-sexy Argentine Tango! If you’re looking to explore an intimate and passionate dance with someone new, give the authentic Tango a try. you won’t regret it!

Regardless of the ballroom dance style you choose, the absolute fastest way to become a self-assured social dancer is through Private Dance Instruction. Working one-on-one with a professional will expedite your training time, ultimately saving you both time and money. Plus, you’ll be on that dance floor sooner rather than later because you have received details, tips on how to lead or follow, and proper technique that you can only get through Private Dance Lessons. Then, like a magnet, you’ll draw in the better dancers without even thinking about it.

2. Find the right place to dance.

What kind of music do you enjoy? What’s your “scene” when it comes to going out with friends? Do you like the club vibe, a Country feel, or a chill type of setting? A Swing dance lounge is very different from a rustic Country bar, for example. Finding the right place to try dancing with someone new for the first time will ease your nerves.

I suggest heading out to a venue that you’ve been to before. You will be able to settle in better and be comfortable with your surroundings, which will give you one less thing to worry about. If you do find the courage to dance at a new place, though, good for you! Once you know what you’re doing on the dance floor with dance lessons, you’ll be able to go anywhere and bust a move!

3. Dress for the occasion.

Please take this step to heart when planning out your evening. Ladies, keep in mind that sleeveless shirts or dresses may be uncomfortable for the guys you dance with, as your sweat could end up on their arms. This could be very unattractive to a new dance partner, and could deter him from dancing with you again. Guys, do NOT douse yourself with cologne before going out dancing. She could be allergic to certain scents, and you could ultimately be a real turn off, even if you are fun to dance with. Both parties may also want to consider the obvious shower and shave before heading out, so you’re putting your best foot forward for newcomers.

Consider your footwear, too, before leaving the house. A pair of Cowboy boots or high heels with straps around the ankles are good solid options for dancing. With the right shoes, you can really shine on the dance floor, instead of getting distracted. Oh, and please leave your flip flops at home. They aren’t great for any style of partner dance really, and could hold you back from feeling and looking your best.

4. Scope out the room.

This may sound a bit creepy, but seeking out the better dancers will only ensure a more exciting night on the dance floor for you. Don’t get me wrong here. Please always be kind and ask the newbies to dance as well. After all, that is how they become good leaders and followers themselves. Remember that you were also a beginner dancer at one point, wishing you could join the cool kids out there. Now that you’re one of those cool kids, be kind to others. 😉

In any case, observing the dancers will give you a feel for who you’d like to dance with throughout the course of the evening. Again, because you’ve taken the time to be a great dancer yourself, you will have naturally attract others who have put in their time learning.

5. Wait for the right moment.

Timing, as they say, is everything. Never demand a dance, or as for a dance by pulling on someone’s arm. He/she will be available at some point in the evening. Find that time and proceed to Step 6…

6. Go in for the kill.

Finally! You’ve placed yourself in the right place at the right time, and you’re even wearing the right attire, so why not ask him or her for a dance? If he/she has done their homework, they already know they’re going to have a great time dancing with you, so don’t concern yourself with getting rejected. If you do, that’s ok too. You can’t win every dance! The point here is that you have earned your right to be a confident dancer, and that is a wonderful way to approach someone new for a dance. Notice I said confident, not cocky. We all know the difference, right?

Bottom line, you’re now able to dance with anyone, anytime, just by following these six steps! If you’re a newer dancer, where are you getting caught up when it comes to dancing with someone you haven’t met? Comment below. I’d love to hear about your dancing journey!